Teen Gothic

I apologize if this is a stupid question! I don’t intend to diss on any bands like The Cure, Bauhaus, Siouxsie, etc. I am actually quite interested in those bands but I get a little bit intimidated by more well known stuff because I am afraid of seeming like a poser and not knowing where to start… I’ve really been into bands like Tristania, Within Temptation, Mortal Love, The Sins of Thy Beloved etc just because I really love the sound especially really symphonic stuff and im more interested in trying a bolder goth style as I’ve kind of been in the alternative scene for years now but have been too scared to place myself in any particular subculture. I know goth subculture is music based but I wasn’t aware if you had to listen to specific bands or if the bands I like count or anything…I also think I might be stressing too much because I know a big part of it is just not conforming to the norm? I dunno. Help is appreciated!

I've been thinking about this for a while, as "listening to the music" always seems to be the criteria when people ask if someone is goth. A lot of people who dress quite goth get called posers or something like it because they don't listen to any goth bands, but don't the clothes have at least some say in the matter?