Teen Gothic

So, I've been interested in the gothic subculture for a couple of weeks. Being a goth has confused me and I say that I am in my school but in reality, I have no Idea. I dress up in black, I read a lot of gothic literature, and I am interested in many of the things I see about the subculture. I also listen to the music…or I think I do at least. I live in a small Christian conservative town so goth people are a rarity in my school (I think it is only me and one other person who can be even somewhat considered goth) and I don't have anyone to really talk to on this matter so I go online to do discover more. Every time I do so I fall down the rabbit holes of the 'sexualizing of goths' and the 'you're not a real goth if…' style posts and it always makes me doubt myself and who I want to be. I love the music but I don't know if everything I'm considering goth music is actual goth music. I'm still determined to learn more about the subculture and even if I don't become goth (despite me wanting to) I will still be a wholehearted supporter and lover of it. I don't expect any help from this post I just wanted to tell my story to people I know are true goths and who wouldn't judge me.