Teen Gothic

So, I've been interested in the gothic subculture for a couple of weeks. Being a goth has confused me and I say that I am in my school but in reality, I have no Idea. I dress up in black, I read a lot of gothic literature, and I am interested in many of the things I see about the subculture. I also listen to the music…or I think I do at least. I live in a small Christian conservative town so goth people are a rarity in my school (I think it is only me and one other person who can be even somewhat considered goth) and I don't have anyone to really talk to on this matter so I go online to do discover more. Every time I do so I fall down the rabbit holes of the 'sexualizing of goths' and the 'you're not a real goth if…' style posts and it always makes me doubt myself and who I want to be. I love the music but I don't know if everything I'm considering goth music is actual goth music. I'm still determined to learn more about the subculture and even if I don't become goth (despite me wanting to) I will still be a wholehearted supporter and lover of it. I don't expect any help from this post I just wanted to tell my story to people I know are true goths and who wouldn't judge me.

First pic shows Larissa hugging a fan. Before she hugged them, that fan shouted “Larissa, I love you!” and I remember seeing her smile right after. Someone also gave her flowers. She seemed super happy at the end of the show. It was quite a sweet moment.

So here’s the story of why seeing Lebanon Hanover was an exciting moment for me + the experience, I don’t mind sharing haha!

In 2017, I was 14/15 and discovered Lebanon Hanover through the magical Youtube algorithm. Although I would listen to other goth bands since I was about 10 or 11, I didn’t fully engage with the goth subculture until I heard “Gallowdance”. They were the more distinct bands that got me specifically into the music of the subculture. LH’s DIY production and homemade music videos inspired me to pick up bass and become a musician and I’m not sure what I would be without them (in the music department). So seeing them was like a Mecca for me.

Back in 2018, they announced a U.S. tour, which was news since they only did shows in Europe and later South America at that point. I rushed to check out the tickets and was bummed that the venue in LA was 21+ (I was a minor at the time). Then, that entire US got cancelled due to an apparent Visa rejection. I was also bummed that it could make them iffy about coming to the US in the future.

I started getting into the other bands and sorta forgot about their social media. So years pass and I get a tiktok mentioning LH’s current US tour. I paused and saw an LA show a week away. The LA show was in a venue that was 18+, so I’m glad I wasn’t a teen when I was LH’s superfan anymore, haha. When I bought them, the tickets were about $ 55 each; expensive for a niche band without crazy theatrics in a small venue but I still immediately copped. Although I admit I got the impression that they’re not great live, I was fuckin EXCITED!

I went with my mom because she’s basically my best friend and the only person I know who’d go to a concert with me. The tickets nor venue’s social media didn’t provide clear info about when they start so we assumed it was 6 (it either said doors open at 6 or LH’s at 6) and panicked when we were running late.

As we were pulling up, we saw a bunch of goths and immediately knew we weren’t lost. We line up and get ID’d, the guy working there marked my hands (assuming because I was under 21) and scanned our tickets. The security briefly checked us and right we go in the venue and upstairs to the “disco” room that their stage is held in. From about 6:15-7:30, there were DJs before the show, playing darkwave and industrial music so we were relieved we weren’t too late.

At around 7:30, the DJ set ends. A roadie came and tuned their instruments, checked the synths and electric drum triggers and the lights dim.

Lebanon Hanover enters. They open with “Alien”. It was an emotional moment for me because that song was extremely relatable and an anthem for me.

I mostly swayed but got really turnt (and unfortunately consistently sang along, loudly and terribly. Apologies to fellow goers) to “Kiss me until my lips fall off” and “Totally Tot” (which I just learned that “tot” means dead in German, I thought it was one of those fake words that songs use to for the sake of catchiness, so now I “feel” that song a little better).

Although I been to Molchat Doma and admit that their show was more put together, I still had a blast. The venue’s room was small, hot and stuffy. People swayed, sang along and were just as excited as I was. It was quite a raw experience.

They end their show with IIRC, “gallowdance”. Larissa handed her guitar pick to a girl and they leave with cheers. The fan who got hugged (pictured earlier) starts a crowd chant, repeating “encore!”.

We chanted until they got back up, people screamed! They play “babes of the 80s” and “Come Kali” to as their encore. Another fan hands Larissa flowers and they both thank us for being incredible a second time. The show ends.

I exit the room feeling renewed, in a sorta spiritual way. The line for the official merch looked too long for us so we left the venue. Outside, a lady was selling presumably bootleg tshirts. I regretted not getting the official shirt so I got the presumed bootleg to mark the memory and we head back home.

I’m so glad I got to see LH after all these years and believing it wasn’t possible. Would I see them again? I think once was enough for me but experiencing “Totally Tot” live changes that opinion.

Me and my bff (who's no longer goth) were reminiscing about our time as baby goths in the mid 00's as a teen. Boy did our experiences SUCKED. You got ridiculed in the streets, you got ridiculed by other goths (granted, starting with evanescence wasn't cool, but unfortunately it was the starting point in that era). If you were a girl, you became a lethal man repeller.

How was your experience?

I (20m) am rather new to the goth community and I've seen many posts and comments on here which mention that some who dress dark / gothic are sometimes getting barked at.

Yesterday I've been on a date with a woman who has been goth far longer than me and as we both walked into a big train station, a few men / Boys barked at us or her.

I wanted to ask if you think that this was more likely directed at both of us or more at her because she's a woman? I can't really tell if this event was something like catcalling aimed towards her or just aggression against us both because of our style.

I am sorry if this question is a bit dumb but I've never experienced something like this in person and I don't want to make this about me if I potentially wasn't the victim at all.

I’m writing an article on this subject and wanted some voices from the goth community to weigh in on it.

Specifically from those who were there while it was happening.

Throwaway account. I'm fucking tired of how cruel and unhinged people can be. I hate the fact that people feel as though they can take advantage of me. Even strangers. One guy yelled at me and harassed me today for not giving him money. He proceeded to follow me out of the store and insult me. He called me a dumbass, (ironically) broke, insulted my hair, told me to stop wearing black, and a bunch of other bullshit. Just kept attacking me. The verbal abuse kept going as I left the store. He followed me out of the store I was at, and insulted the race of the cop I was talking to following this incident. Called someone else the f-slur. I felt unsafe. 3 days into the new year and this happens.

Another guy looked me up and down, and I can't forget the look on his face. I can deal with staring, but he had this look of disgust on his face.

I just feel like I can't catch a fucking break. People are fucking awful.

Edit: Yes, I was dressed in my gothic attire. In both instances when this happened, it is why I mentioned it. I believe that my appearance makes me a target for that bullshit. I guess I should expect it looking "different". But it's still such an awful feeling. I wanted to know if anyone else experienced that. And how you deal with it.

Second edit: Just wanted to say, thank you everyone for taking time out of your day to comment. It's been rough so thank you for showing me kindness and empathy. It means a lot.

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When I went to the county fair with two of my other alt friends, most of the people there were middle and early high school kids. At least a dozen times we had boys come up to us laughing and asking for our snap. They also did that thing where they compliment you then walk away laughing. I even had one group of boys (maybe around 15) run up to me, take a selfie next to me, then run away laughing. I feel like ten years down the line they’ll be lying in their beds thinking about how cringe they were.