Teen Gothic

hi I just joined the subreddit, initially this spring when I was finally trying to express myself through clothing the way I wanted to. I found myself to be more alternative which was new and became curious about goth. I had no idea that goth was a music genre so I read through the wiki. I read through posts. I listened to a few songs. I absolutely hated Bauhaus and figured I just don't like goth music.

i felt like I might be forcing myself to like/be something I'm not so I left the sub and settled with just being "alternative". Since a head injury I haven't been sure about who I am now. I've been trying to find my place for years. Then I kept coming back. I kept wanting to learn. I kept researching goth music and goth history and was curious about my local goth scene. Who does that??

I found I enjoy The Cure and Siouxsie more. I listened to Bauhaus again but realized I am just a person. I don't have to like every artist in a genre. I wasn't really surprised I loved goth music as I listened more since I listen to so many genres in the first place. I did wonder if I even could be goth if I listened to so many unrelated genres so I got a bit confused since I didn't really see anyone who listened to genres like that. Then I got over it. I like what I like. I rather pay off my credit card and buy some albums than worry if I'm goth enough.

As I read repeatedly, goth is a music based subculture at its core and I love the music. I just happened to find the fashion first. I don't even wear it every day but I have my own playlist now and have a few favorite artists. I'm constantly looking for more. Most I've either discovered here or Spotify. I won't be going out to clubs or concerts due to the pandemic but I'm trying to get involved online. Goth feels more natural than I expected. Emo, punk, metal, etc. didn't click so I've ended up here. I found my place.