Teen Gothic

hi i’m (f19) located in an area where there’s literally no goth nights/clubs/events at all and i really want to go to one. the closest one that i’ve heard about are hours away and it’s not that frequent so that’s just not an option for me. i was watching one of my favorite youtubers and she said something along the lines of “if there’s no goth nights near you, consider just making your own.” and i was like “yeah let’s do it.” i asked some of my other alternative friends (metal heads,grunge,emo,etc) if they’d be interested and they’re down too. i guess it’ll just be more of an alternative party now since everyone has their own niche. anyways enough rambling, i don’t know how to go about this. i can’t have it at my house and i’m pretty sure they can’t have it at theirs. i don’t have enough money to rent out a space and it’s too cold to have it outside at like a park or something. i’m also very shy i’ve always just kept to myself growing up although i really did want more friends, i’m nervous that people would say that they’d show up and then it’s only me and my best friend there (that’s happened to me before). the people i invited it’s like we talk every now and then but that’s really all yk ? i’m feeling quite discouraged idk what to do i’ve never done this before. i’m working on the playlist and atm it’s mostly goth songs that i like, but now i’m worried that everyone else won’t like it and then they won’t dance. i’m so confused 😭 i apologize for this being all over the place i just- yeah.

TLDR: i don’t have a place to have the party, i’m not sure if anyone would come, and i’m not sure if they’d like the music. i’m very confused and conflicted.

You know I always had a inner goth in me, I always denied myself as a goth despite the fact I listen to some of the music, I always thought that being a goth meant to be one in general having some traits and listening to the music, And in the end really its more of if you listen to the music you are already a goth, The first goth song I have ever listened to was surprisingly and I am not sure if this counts at all but it was the most mysterious song on the internet, Yes that was literally the song's name and I kinda got curious into its the genre since I liked it soo much, I delved into it more and found out it was gothic, And from time to time I started to listen to goth music, But what really got me in into being a goth was, The march violets – natural history, I was listening to random goth music on spotify in like 1 AM while drrawing, And I remember specifically this kicking in, Giving me the most satisfying goosebump ever.

And here I am finally getting into being goth, And posting here, I may look like the biggest conformist yet, But I am a goth from the inside and I wanted to know what completely got you in into being a goth too? Or threw you in, In that case?