Teen Gothic

Have you ever woken up after a big night on the town with arms crossed over your chest, hanging upside down on your couch with your legs hooked over the top thinking "Oh great. I thought I was a bat again last night"?

It has come to my attention that people have not thought Unofficial Seething Sunday posts have not been goth enough of late. As someone who clearly takes how goth people think I am oh so seriously, I shall attempt to rectify this issue with this week's post.

Without further ado…

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Goth.

Goth gothity goth goth.

Goth gothy goth goff goth.

Gothicky gothicky blackerness goth.

Gothy gothien ebon goth.

Gawth. Gaath. Gaathic.

Goth.

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Thank you and back to our irregular programming of complaints, rants and void shouting which may or may not be goth related and no guarantee if the people making said posts are even goth too.

First Sunday of October so "Spooky season" posts. Spooky Season posts everywhere!

Here I am with no nefarious plans for October at all and I don't care. It is spring in Australia so dodging magpie swooping puts us all in survival mode. Well… more survival mode. One does not simply ever not be in survival mode in Australia with everything trying to kill us.

The only solace we get are beer and games of knifey spoony. If you are a goth you play using black cutlery because duh. I personally like Dark Ale because I like my beer like my music subcultures.

Bat grinding, spider slashing, dog dowsing, vulture veering, snake sneering, lemur leering… the spoop is here and it wants to complain. So let it out and flush that terrible toilet. Boo.

Ghost, ghost, happy ghost. Reaching for a slice of toast. Reaching for a slice of toast early in the mourn.

Vlar, vlar, vampire. Burning on a funeral pyre. Burning on a funeral pyre, caught out as a liar.

Howl, howl, werewolf howl. Eying off a juicy owl. Eying off a juicy owl to rend and to devour.

Stomp, stomp, monster stomp, no pretention, snob or pomp. No pretention, snob or pomp and dancing until dawn.

(What the hell is this?!? Has Aytakk lost his mind? Buggered if I know and I live in here.)

Crank those bats and spin those spiders, people. This week I'm keeping it short.

Come on in and pull up a chair. Every chair has an automatic sympathy machine attached. What it has is a robotic arm with a gloved hand that when turned on pats you on the shoulder and a mechanical looping voice says "There, there… there, there… there, there… there, there…"

The best part is when you get up it keeps going for a minute but the voice turns off. So instead of patting it is now waving you goodbye. That cold, metallic arm… a cold wave if you will.

Being the bright spark I am I decided to alphabetically sort my 7" vinyl records. I started this around 3:30pm. For reference sake the Soothing Sunday post usually posts around 4:30pm for me. I just finished sorting them and it is nearly 9:30pm.

So I am late with this week's thread, my fingers feel smooth from all the dust/old records and I am thirsty as hell.

A few fun facts I learned along the way.

• I have more 7" records for bands with the words "black" or "die" in their band names than expected.
• Out of all I have more Sisters of Mercy 7"s than anything else. Second place is Toto Coelo.
• My collection of "novelty" and parody singles is becoming quite large and there is still so much more to get.
• I need to buy so many 7" plastic sleeves and some new paper ones too

And I still have my 12" records and CDs to go. I have decided the CDs can be skipped.

You may now complain about how late today's post is.

Goth gothy goth goth because this is r/goth and we are contractually obligated to post on theme all the time else it breaks some law or something, otherwise one of the other mods will kill this thread over relevancy. Do you know people sometimes report Unofficial Seething Sunday as if it will get it removed? That's funny.