Teen Gothic

I’m what people call a “closeted goth” I do not look/dress the part but I love the music, the history and all around aesthetic of Goth culture, I feel right at home here. I've had times where I'd be in a goth club and at first they'd think I'm some lost dude only to be pleasantly surprised when I start talking about some of my favorite bands and or artists.

Have any of yall run into someone who shocked you finding out they're goth at heart they just don't physically show it?

I'm just wondering because I'm constantly told that I'm a closet goth, but I don't see it. Did I geek out on seeing Vandal Moon and Twin Tribes live? Yeah, but that doesn't make me goth. Right?

I met someone at a party a few weeks ago and they told me about a goth even they were attending later that night. I was curious about it, but they left and I didn't get to find out more. Saw them again this weekend and got the details. The events are bi-weekly and themed, and every band or song used as themes are bands I know and love. I started listening to "goth" playlists and again, I know most of the music. I have seen Peter Murphy in concert at least 5 times; I am a huge fan of his solo work since his second album, and eventually came around to love Bauhaus too, and got to see them on their reunion tour in the late 90s. Also a huge Killing joke fan, along with just about everything on 4AD back in the day…

I know it's not ALL about the music, but I think it's safe to say it's MOSTLY about the music?!?

The problem is, I dress like a square. Tee shirts and jeans most of the time. I have a lot of black stuff but it's, again, square: slacks and polos for work, etc. I own several pairs of Doc Martens, mostly black. I feel like I could tip over the precipice if I knew what to do next. I want to go to the next goth event but I'm anxious about going with my dumb clothes.
I can't afford a massive wardrobe and my employer might have a negative reaction if I went all in at once (think Richmond on The I.T. Crowd), but what do you think could be a next step to explore this side of myself?

Thanks in advance.