Teen Gothic

Crank those bats and spin those spiders, people. This week I'm keeping it short.

Come on in and pull up a chair. Every chair has an automatic sympathy machine attached. What it has is a robotic arm with a gloved hand that when turned on pats you on the shoulder and a mechanical looping voice says "There, there… there, there… there, there… there, there…"

The best part is when you get up it keeps going for a minute but the voice turns off. So instead of patting it is now waving you goodbye. That cold, metallic arm… a cold wave if you will.

Being the bright spark I am I decided to alphabetically sort my 7" vinyl records. I started this around 3:30pm. For reference sake the Soothing Sunday post usually posts around 4:30pm for me. I just finished sorting them and it is nearly 9:30pm.

So I am late with this week's thread, my fingers feel smooth from all the dust/old records and I am thirsty as hell.

A few fun facts I learned along the way.

• I have more 7" records for bands with the words "black" or "die" in their band names than expected.
• Out of all I have more Sisters of Mercy 7"s than anything else. Second place is Toto Coelo.
• My collection of "novelty" and parody singles is becoming quite large and there is still so much more to get.
• I need to buy so many 7" plastic sleeves and some new paper ones too

And I still have my 12" records and CDs to go. I have decided the CDs can be skipped.

You may now complain about how late today's post is.

Goth gothy goth goth because this is r/goth and we are contractually obligated to post on theme all the time else it breaks some law or something, otherwise one of the other mods will kill this thread over relevancy. Do you know people sometimes report Unofficial Seething Sunday as if it will get it removed? That's funny.

Have you ever heard of a "rat king"? If not, go goggle it. I can wait. Though I must warn you it is pretty disgusting.

…

You're back? Finished throwing up yet? You haven't? Ok, looks like I have to wait some more.

…

Got it all out of your system? Yes? Good. A rat king seems to be a pretty angry ball of putrid fury. But I think we can do one better.

Imagine the same thing except let's replace the rats…

…with bats.

Behold the dreaded bat king! How was it created? No one knows. Those bats are out of their element. They want to fly, not roll around as some massive ball of confusion and anger. A leathery mass of screeching chittering teeth. I bet that is even more pissed off than the rats could ever be.

Unleash your inner bat king.

We could talk about music from before many of you were born in this thread. But we won't.

We could talk about music released last month that will make many of you go "What? Who? There is more goth music besides The Cure, Siouxsie, Sisters of Mercy, Bauhaus and Christian Death?!?" in this thread. But we won't.

We could even talk about why I deliberately omitted Joy Division from the above statement in this thread. Again, we won't. Well… someone may get upset and might.

We could even talk about how so many newer bands are clearly "inspired" by older bands to the point of sounding like updated clones of them in the same manner people discussed the Sisters clones of the 90s. Yeah, that could happen.

Then there is the topic of darkwave going disco that happened here some weeks ago. That was a contentious one.

Have I given you enough ideas yet? Or would you rather just complain about who and/or what pissed in your cornflakes this week. Either/and/or. Have at it.

Last 4 days have been a string of errands, appointments, DJing at a sold out Furry event (minus 100 goth points me) and finishing with playing records at the City Record Club (a mix of punk, surf rock, deathrock and 70s/80s rock – redeem some goth points but only a few) while drinking a lot of dark ale and a little rum.

I am dead on my feet and late posting it but here – have your weekly complainy thread. Don't say I never do anything for you. Now I'm going to go collapse in a chair or something of that nature.

Goth just isn't fair. All this music to listen to and for most the same bands are listened to over and over while new and lesser known bands are left starving in the background.

Oh no! The music provider I'm renting music from took away one album from that big band that has plenty of other albums. I could listen to something new but why broaden my horizons? If I talk about that new band people will think I'm a raving looney as they have no idea who they are. I can't make fashion and make up tiktok memes with this shit!

It's all about me. ME! Look at meeeeeeeee!!! Behold how goth I think I am!

Every week people come here expecting me to write something fun as an intro to the post. Well this week I'm not doing it!

I am not going to write something about venting more steam than the sulphur pits of Satan as he sits dressed in stained satin with his right hand man Stan. Nor will I ask what is grinding your bats this week. And I am definitely not going to suggest screaming into the void to see if the void screams back…

…

Oh crap.

Testing 1… 2… 3… can you hear me? \*CRACKLE*\**

We are hiding in the basement. They are scratching at the door. We can hear rips and tears as their terrible fashion choices fall apart. The alt brand shrieks fill the air. We are seeing if there is some lighting down here. You found a torch? Let's see. Oh no.

Oh no…

OH NO!

Killstar boxes! Killstar boxes everywhere! Some Demonia ones too! They don't want us, they want the alt fashion and are willing to rend asunder anyone in their way to get it. Goth help us, the fashion zombies are breaking down the door. We need to sing This Corrosion to drive those poseurs off. Heeeey now hey now now…..

\*CRACKLE*\**

Silence