Teen Gothic

I hope this is okay to post here. It’s a bit lengthy. I guess I’m just trying to feel out other’s opinions.

I was heavily into alt music and fashion from ages 12-22, when I got my first “real” corp job that wasn’t just piercing other kid’s noses and tongues in a shop at the mall like I’d been doing up until that point. 22-27 were really fucking rough years for me mentally. I was surrounded by a totally different type of people and felt like I was fighting a constant losing battle trying to fit in with them and do well at this job and be liked, even though I didn’t like them very much or feel like my values aligned even loosely with theirs. I’d dress the part to fit in, but I’ve always been into the same music and movies and interests, so people always approached it as a quirk, or something to be humoured.

Then the pandemic hit and things took an even more significant nosedive, to the point where I was so miserable I knew I needed to change something. I quit that job, started studying again and got help with my mental health. Now, nearly three years later, I’m starting to feel like myself again. I stopped covering up my tattoos. I started wearing makeup for fun again. Earlier this year, I went to a concert for the first time in nearly a decade. I’ve been to four more since. The joy and validation I’ve been feeling is unmatched.

But I’m getting a few weird reactions from people. My husband’s family, who’ve only known me in the last six-ish years, think I’m going through a midlife crisis (I’m only thirty, lol). One of my old co-workers made a snide comment when I bumped into her a few weeks back (“I thought you grew out of that?”). It shouldn’t (doesn’t!) matter. But it does make me wonder whether other people in the community are thinking similar thoughts, and it’s made me feel a bit embarrassed about going to clubs or other concerts in case I see people I know and they assume the same: I’m pathetically trying to recapture my youth, or I don’t really belong because I totally sold out for those years, even though they were the hardest years of my life.

Has anyone else here had this experience? Am I totally overthinking this? Does anybody even care about this kind of shit? Was my semi-social anxiety-induced panic attack at the Drab Majesty show warranted? Lol.

This might be a long shot and idk if this post will be allowed to stay up (I didn't see anything in the rules about this 😅) but I wanted to know if anyone knows of an active goth scene in or around Springfield, Oregon. I've lived here my whole life and want to get more into the scene outside of the Internet, but haven't found much. I know there's stuff in Portland, but it is too far away for me to feasibly go there for any goth events more than once every few months, and my car currently can't make that drive.

Does anyone know if there are any active goth clubs in the Eugene/Springfield/surrounding areas? We have Old Nick's Pub, but it's more of a drag bar and the closest they get to a "goth night" would be their "emo" or "fetish" nights, neither of which are what I'm looking for. I want more friends who are into the same music and style as me, and to surround myself with people who have similar tastes and interests. None of my friends/family are goth, and while I love them all to death it does get a bit lonely to be the only goth I know irl. Does anybody know if there's anything in the area?

Much appreciated!

Hi there, extremely new to goth music and was wondering about the difference between darkwave and goth rock. I was googling around to try and find the right term(s) for the genre(s) I most enjoy, and found that there was a lot of overlap between listed bands and artists. Some that were mentioned under both include Christian Death, Bauhaus, The Sisters of Mercy, and Dead Can Dance. This is made even more complicated for me as Apple Music labels pretty much everything as alternative, rock, or goth rock almost interchangeably. I would just like to know if there is any meaningful difference between these terms? Thanks <3

Edit: I should also mention that Google's definitions seem a little strange, as I see bands such as Evanescence and Nine Inch Nails listed under goth rock even though I'm pretty sure they're not goth at all

i recently brought my partner to a underground goth club event and while there asked if he was comfortable because it wasn't his scene, his reply was that he is goth and that it is his scene. He listens to no goth music, does not dress goth, as well as knows no goth bands. he mostly exclusively listens to vaporwave and EDM/raver music, and he keeps saying that he is goth just for wearing black all the time. i tried to ask him if he knew any bands at all and he said that it didnt matter because being goth has nothing to do with fashion and music which i know that goth has a very big connection to music and fashion. i am a baby goth at the moment and was always told that you cant be goth without listening to the music/dressing the part has it changed now that you can be goth without dressing the part or listening to the music?