Teen Gothic

Ok guys, this is not one of those posts, I'm just curious who else was always afraid to stand out. Back to high school a year ago I was so anxious to stand out even though I really wanted to, I really got into the whole goth culture towards the end of high school.

In my high school graduation picture I look completely normal lol I remember wanting to put on makeup and all that and I was just deathly afraid of standing out and that I would come out weird because there were no goths in my high school at least not as far as I know because I live in the Middle East and I regret a little that from this picture I will remember someone who was afraid express herself. There was a realy short period when I would put black eyeshadow until my mom noticed and told me it wasn't pretty so I stopped.

And I kind of want to make up for it and do what I want now but I just don't feel like I can yet. I guess my social anxiety prevents me from doing that. Also i don't want to imagine my mom's face if she sees an unusual outfit lol

When it comes to music, the authoritarian people can tolerate it, even with the weird imagery and stuff, they give me a pass.

But when it comes to dressing and fashion. I am having a difficult time.

I remember I showed a picture of a guy with black lips and told that person "I want to express myself in a physical way and I want to become Gothic"

You Know what that person said? "What the fuck is this? This is truly horrifying. You are trying to be like that? You got the demon in you. You disgust me. Are you trying to be a faggot?"

Sometimes I wonder "why bother sharing if I am going to get shunned upon by those bitches"

But yeah. I have a hard time. I really want to delve myself into the goth style but right now, I can't do nothing. 🙁

can you identify? i'm in long island but an hour from the big city and don't really want to get home at 3am. we've had some good nights going here over the years but it's few and far between. as a DJ, i had given up on ever trying to start a new night though some opportunities recently came up and it's been the same frustration.

the problems i always encounter is that people are not on the same page, whether it's the owner of the venue, the management or other DJs. even though we all want a "goth" / dark dance music night, they have other ideas of what that should look and sound like. and forget about approaching a venue that knows nothing about the music and culture.

i feel like it's such a simple concept and yet people either don't care enough or make it overly complicated.