Teen Gothic

I'm tired of not being able to dress or even say that I'm goth because it's going to be taken in a more sexual way than anything else, I'm tired of posting a picture and having weird people write obscene things to me. No matter how alternative you make yourself look, there's always going to be someone who comments something sexual and it's disgusting. Internet culture has greatly distorted the meaning of being goth and now everyone who claims to be interested in that type of people is only talking about e-girls with black lipstick and tight black clothes.

I have loved the album Floodland by Sisters of Mercy for over a decade now and tried sporadically to listen to their other stuff, but just couldn't get into it. I have recently gone through their whole discography and I have found some gems on the album "Some Girls Wander by Mistake" I am not saying the album is exceptional because out of the 24 songs I wouldn't eagerly listen to most of them. But if you like goth music, please listen to the following songs.. Burn, Lights, Heartland, Floorshow and Adrenochrome.

I've been browsing online and stumbled upon a disturbing comment where a guy is referring to a goth girl as a "goth dommy mommy". It really bothered me, even though I'm not part of the goth community myself. There's just something about the way he said it that made me feel uneasy. It's like, why do guys feel the need to objectify women in this way? And what's with the constant refrain of "I want a goth dommy mommy"? Can't they just leave these poor goth women alone?

And when they post pictures of the kind of woman they're looking for, it's always some generic E-girl or super attractive woman with long black hair and red lipstick. It's like, hello, those aren't even real goths! It's just another example of how men reduce complex and multifaceted people to shallow physical characteristics.

I came across another guy who was sharing his 'expert' advice on how to get a goth girl as a girlfriend. His so-called 'tips' were basically just stereotypical nonsense. He said something like, "Hey guys, if you want to impress a goth girl, send them pictures of your skateboard. Trust me, they love skater boys!" Uhm…where did he get this from? Does he actually know any goth girls? It's like he's trying to reduce an entire subculture to some generic, one-size-fits-all profile.

And honestly, who are we to assume what goth girls are into? Newsflash: they're not all the same! Maybe some of them do like skateboards, but that doesn't mean all of them do. And even if they did, would they want some dude hitting on them because of their makeup and only that? Probably not.

What's wrong with just being genuine and respectful? If you're interested in someone, approach them like a normal human being and have a real conversation. Don't try to fit them into some predetermined box or stereotype. Compliment them on something meaningful, like their music taste or art style. It's not that hard. That's all I have to say for now.

Recently I've had a group of girls that anytime they see me they yell at me "bark for me b***h" of course they are blonde plain looking girls and I'd fit into a mix of romantic goth / grunge punk look. But I'm not understanding what me being goth has to do with barking? It's annoying and I'm worn out from the constant public harassment, I barely leave my house now. But it especially doesn't help idk what they are suggesting. Any ideas?

I was wondering if anyone else has had this problem and what you think about what crosses the line in the goth scene, and who should speak out what is wrong.

I was in a 30+ goth group and a women with 48 years young posted an underwear photo (she had tattoos one was HIM non said goth, and had large fake boobs clearly seeking complements. it was her in a very tiny bikini style top and panties and men just told her how hot she was. I said that I felt that we as the goth 30+ age comunity shouldn't be posting these on a goth page as she is promoting goth as a fetish and she shouldn't be posting lingerie shots in her post. She then yells at me how I "hate seeing s confident women" and that I have corset pictures. I hold her that it wasn't the same and that I am wearing a skirt and if she thinks corset and skirt photos are the same as skimpy bra and panties she doesn't understand the goth scene fashion wise. I look at her profile she is a stipper and has an OF and this is all she posts about. then I get ganged up on by her stipper OF friend and they essentially loon at my photos to trash me. (I told the girl she looked good but this wasn't the place and it makes the scene look like this is what goth women are about) she tried to shame my photos and say I am "too ugly now" to take my own and that is why I am "shaming" her and how she got 10 new subscribers because I gave her post more attention. I just wanted to call her out as politely as I could so admins would remove her photo from the 30 40 50+ goths group. instead they allowed these women to harrass and call me names and bully me and no one said anything. It felt like you had a women half naked posting her body in a goth page perpetrating a fetish stereotype that goth women are trying not to be a part if and I am made the asshole for calling her out and saying this shouldn't be posted. IDK what to think anymore. I don't care if someone does OF, but to post the closest you can get to naked without being removed to get your image in a goth group to find clients or act more legitimately goth I have an issue with… but I felt like I was the only one and it was all just men complementing her body. only 1 person said "what does this have to do with goth?" and they were attacked in the comments too. I just hope I have people who understand so I don't feel like I am going crazy for speaking out against the fetishism of the goth scene and people exploiting it.

The same people who bullied goth girls are thirsting for them. Do these men, honestly, think that they have a chance with em? They have no knowledge of goth culture, they will never read anything remotely interesting nor will they care. Would they ever listen to Pornography? Read Nietzsche? Know who Joy Division or Bauhaus is?

I’m gatekeeping but idc