Teen Gothic

I've always been tall and thin and I honestly hate my body. I have a precious little boy who I absolutely adore, he'll be 2 on the 25th. He's definitely a baby bat as well. He baby dances to Peter Murphy, Sisters of Mercy and The Mission. However, since his birth, I've struggled with it even more. I feel like a caricature of a person.

I used to dress goth and I still have the clothes and makeup but don't do it anymore, mostly due to time constraints. I see my friends, socially distanced of course and they still dress up. It's made me feel like I've lost a huge part of who I am.

It's like I want to dress up but can't find the motivation either. I'm honestly kind of depressed about it and it feels like a vicious cycle. I'm also tired of being told I'm lucky I'm thin. I've struggled to gain and maintain weight my entire life.

Anyway, maybe I'm being petty but it's how I feel. I just need someone to listen and thanks for making it this far. Could you guys maybe give me tips on how to slowly incorporate it back in or should I just go nuclear and dress up? Thanks. 🖤

Edit: I guess I'm also a little scared of scaring my son because he's never seen me like that. I know deep down he'll be fine because all he'll see is mommy but I just don't want to shock him I guess.