Teen Gothic

I hope this doesn’t count as inflammatory, I just genuinely need advice. I have a small friend group that I’ve developed this year. We kind of connected because we all dress edgy. My issues started at the beginning of the year when one of said friends would constantly refer to the both of us as “big tiddy goth girls”. At first I thought she was a goth and just wasn’t icked out by that phrase like me. I gently asked her about her music taste and it is pretty much exclusively like house rave wave and rap. I have no problem with either of those genres, and I’ll enjoy a song or two from time to time, but it did bug me her using the label without knowing the history or meaning of it. Especially because you could just google “Goth” and it would tell you it was a music based subculture. She is my friend so I didn’t bring it up but it erred me. The rest of the group(except one girl who listens to goth music but doesn’t dress the part or consider it her scene) says similar things, about us being “bad goth bitches” and when they’ll dress up they’ll be like, “I look so goth right now”. We were at a bar and I outright said, “sometimes the way you use the word goth confuses me” after some other “goth baddy” comment, and they got very mad at me. They said that, “the normies are going to call us goth so that is what we are! It’s basically just an umbrella term for edgy” to which I said, “it’s a music based subculture. Someone in jeans and a polo listening to goth music, is more goth than someone dressed in a trad goth uniform who doesn’t listen to the music.” One of them said, “well I’m going to call myself goth”. That was the end of the conversation but it keeps bugging me. It’s not that I care about keeping them out of the subculture, the more the merrier because more goth music enjoyers means more albums, shows, and bands for our community. It’s just that I feel like just using goth to mean “edgy” waters down the actual meaning and misses the point of the subculture

Sorry if this is in the wrong place, I’m doing a project based around this subject so would be very glad for any information

I love love love being goth but I genuinely don't understand why. I love the music, the art, the fashion, the makeup, and the hair more than any other style I've explored. I guess I just never thought I'd love a certain style this much. I feel so at home being a part of the style, maybe because the beliefs/attitudes of goths resonate with me so much? The way that music, fashion, makeup, literature, and values/beliefs are intertwined in so fascinating to me.

Is it the dark style? The music, art, or literature? The fashion and makeup and hair? What about goth draws you into the subculture? What does being goth mean to you, and how do you express it? How does the fashion and music illustrate the core values of the subculture?

Sorry to sound like an English teacher, but I really want to discuss this and have no goth friends or know any long-term goths haha

I don't know if this post sounds strange, I hope not I'm a woman in my early 30s, have been part of the subculture since I was 16 but unfortunately, due to depression and other mental health problems that got worse when I was 19 I completely isolated myself and now I have no one. I was wondering if any European goths or from anywhere else ( I'm in Portugal) would like to chat and try to be friends. I'm trying to break free from this depression but it's hard when you have no one to talk and share your interests with.

I'm currently working on an illustration project on the representation of punks and goths and common misconceptions surrounding the subcultures. I would like to hear some of your experiences with people sexualizing the subculture, or objectifying you as a result of your look?