Teen Gothic

What are people's opinions about taking people who aren't in the scene to spots within the scene? Normally, I didn't care, especially because I don't have a lot of friends who are into goth and alt scenes like me. So the more the merrier. But I've come to realize I think a lot of them treat it as some kind of oddity to be gawked at or like it's just some kind of amusing spectacle.

Normally, I also didn't care that much for this since I understand everyone has different tastes and aren't going to be into this sort of thing. But I had an interaction today that left me pretty offended because I'm starting to get the impression that they don't respect this stuff.

What happened is that one of my friends wanted to bring her "normie" friends to Bar Sinister in LA (I don't really like the term "normie" but you probably get the impression), and she invited me since I like going to these spots. Apparently, Aurelio Voltaire is going to be there for a show. I let her know just in casual conversation. I wasn't saying we need to attend the show or anything. But I described the type of music he does, and she responded, "that seems low key cringe."

This comment got me super heated tbh because Voltaire was super influential in defining my taste and aesthetic when I was a kid growing up. I even have two signed vinyls of his lol. And to hear my friend just dismiss it so bluntly felt like her just dismissing a lot of myself. I took a lot of offense to it because it really came off as if she doesn't respect the culture. Though I definitely know not everyone in the scene is into Dark Cabaret and that kind of style. But that's different because it comes from people in the scene, not someone else just dismissing parts of the culture outright. And looking back at some of her and other people's comments, I definitely have reinterpreted them like I described above when it came to the overall music and aesthic.

In some fairness, Bar Sinister definitely leans into some of the "spectacle" of the goth aesthetic, and it got pretty mainstream leaving mixed opinions of it by some people in the LA goth scene. But it still plays good music so I like it still, and the event throwers actively supports the goth/alt scene here.

But now I'm like, if you don't even really like the music and are treating dressing up for it as almost dressing up for Halloween, why are you going? It's kind of insulting to me since this is a core part of my identity. Idk. I'll calm down a bit but I'm still heated by her comment before.

Anyone have experiences with this? Differing opinions? Thoughts?

Hey everyone, kind of an odd question. If you (or a goth in general) were in a bookstore and saw someone reading something you find interesting (true crime, occult stuff, etc) would you be likely to start a chat with that person? I’m asking because I’ve found that my local bookstore hosts a bunch of goth/alt customers and I wanna make some friends hanging out there. Thanks for reading 🙂

Anyone else had great success with inviting people who aren’t familiar with our music and scene? I’ve been able to successfully bring out 9 of my workmates, a lot of my friends and my entire family to these quite frequently. My favorite parts are breaking down all the misconceptions they’ve had on what Goth is and seeing them embrace it as a music based experience not some fashion show with freaks and darklings. They always leave happy to experience something new, falling in love with how lovely and welcoming the people can be and letting themselves enjoy the music and atmosphere. I say this as I’m bringing a few new blood from work to a batcave tonight and they seem excited about it based on what my other work mates have said. Anyone else have luck bringing in fresh souls into your caves?

How can you find goth friends if there is zero alternative people at your school and you’re too young to go to shows by yourself? Do I like message people online and start chatting and potentially meet up (with taking safety into account and all), but how do I specifically find people in my city? I am from quite a big city with an existing goth scene so I’m sure there’s definitely people around my age out there.

I dunno if it's me, but I have the hardest time making goth friends. I'm newish to my local scene, it's very active and I go to alot of the same events, I dance, I sit amongst the crowds, but besides the passing compliment on my outfit, that's as far as it goes. I've observed people stick to their friends group and not venture out. Some regulars have recognized my attendance and say hi, maybe add on social media but go back to their friends group.

I went out recently and almost none talked to me besides compliments on my fashion. It's nice and i say thank you but I crave more.

I admit I'm shy and I should take the first move but last night literally everyone was already in a conversation with their friend group or couples so I ended up talking to no one.

Help? What am I doing wrong? Its getting quite lonely in these bat caves.

For me, I don't have goth friends, but I have met some lovely people involved in the subculture 🙂 For example, I was at the record store buying a Sisters of Mercy, The Cult and The Cure albums (along with some metal albums) and a father with a Sisters of Mercy band shirt and his daughter complimented me on my choice of album. Which was Floodland, but First and Last and Always is my favourite.

Years ago, I tried making a friend on Amino and I met a German girl who was very into goth rock and darkwave, but industrial too. She was very cheerful and kind, but I didn't access my account any more for some reason. I still think about her to this day and wish I could've kept her username or something.

I knew a girl at high school who listened to goth rock and post-punk and knew quite a bit about the subculture, but you would never have guessed that by the way she portrayed and dressed herself! I had a blast talking about the subculture, history and music with her. We have both expressed that we want to spend more time with each other and that we want to be good friends. However, we are both expecting each other to make the first move, like two Hollywood cowboys waiting to draw at a gunfight.

Where did you meet other goths IRL?

anyone else bothered by this? it doesn't really bother me but I just think it'd be nice to be friends with fellow goths, I don't have friends with the same tastes, but in my country (Tunisia, in north africa) there's barely any alt people yet alone goths, no scene no underground no nothing lol, the only person I found that listens to goth music ended up ghosting me too lmao, so basically I have no hope of making goth friends IRL, but at least there's the internet 🙂

Is there an app to make goth friends in your area? I barely have friends let alone goth friends and my area sucksss.