Teen Gothic

Anyone else had great success with inviting people who aren’t familiar with our music and scene? I’ve been able to successfully bring out 9 of my workmates, a lot of my friends and my entire family to these quite frequently. My favorite parts are breaking down all the misconceptions they’ve had on what Goth is and seeing them embrace it as a music based experience not some fashion show with freaks and darklings. They always leave happy to experience something new, falling in love with how lovely and welcoming the people can be and letting themselves enjoy the music and atmosphere. I say this as I’m bringing a few new blood from work to a batcave tonight and they seem excited about it based on what my other work mates have said. Anyone else have luck bringing in fresh souls into your caves?

How can you find goth friends if there is zero alternative people at your school and you’re too young to go to shows by yourself? Do I like message people online and start chatting and potentially meet up (with taking safety into account and all), but how do I specifically find people in my city? I am from quite a big city with an existing goth scene so I’m sure there’s definitely people around my age out there.

I dunno if it's me, but I have the hardest time making goth friends. I'm newish to my local scene, it's very active and I go to alot of the same events, I dance, I sit amongst the crowds, but besides the passing compliment on my outfit, that's as far as it goes. I've observed people stick to their friends group and not venture out. Some regulars have recognized my attendance and say hi, maybe add on social media but go back to their friends group.

I went out recently and almost none talked to me besides compliments on my fashion. It's nice and i say thank you but I crave more.

I admit I'm shy and I should take the first move but last night literally everyone was already in a conversation with their friend group or couples so I ended up talking to no one.

Help? What am I doing wrong? Its getting quite lonely in these bat caves.

For me, I don't have goth friends, but I have met some lovely people involved in the subculture 🙂 For example, I was at the record store buying a Sisters of Mercy, The Cult and The Cure albums (along with some metal albums) and a father with a Sisters of Mercy band shirt and his daughter complimented me on my choice of album. Which was Floodland, but First and Last and Always is my favourite.

Years ago, I tried making a friend on Amino and I met a German girl who was very into goth rock and darkwave, but industrial too. She was very cheerful and kind, but I didn't access my account any more for some reason. I still think about her to this day and wish I could've kept her username or something.

I knew a girl at high school who listened to goth rock and post-punk and knew quite a bit about the subculture, but you would never have guessed that by the way she portrayed and dressed herself! I had a blast talking about the subculture, history and music with her. We have both expressed that we want to spend more time with each other and that we want to be good friends. However, we are both expecting each other to make the first move, like two Hollywood cowboys waiting to draw at a gunfight.

Where did you meet other goths IRL?

anyone else bothered by this? it doesn't really bother me but I just think it'd be nice to be friends with fellow goths, I don't have friends with the same tastes, but in my country (Tunisia, in north africa) there's barely any alt people yet alone goths, no scene no underground no nothing lol, the only person I found that listens to goth music ended up ghosting me too lmao, so basically I have no hope of making goth friends IRL, but at least there's the internet 🙂

Is there an app to make goth friends in your area? I barely have friends let alone goth friends and my area sucksss.

It wasn't a phase, mom! I was fifteen then. Over three decades later, here I still am. Yes, I did take an extended break from goth in my university years. I still wore black, but I stopped listening to the music. For the longest time, the music conjured up PTSD-related memories due to a catastrophic falling-out with an eldergoth friend.

Good old Christian Mom, when I was a babybat: "What are you doing with those candles and incense?" Before you guess that she asked me about devil worship—you're absolutely right! She did ask about devil worship!

I had to do a lot of explaining about the subculture. To my family, to the friends I'd alienated, to the public.

I don't look as extreme now, but I've got this subculture in my DNA. There's so much new music. I'm floored by the amount. I've set a personal goal to listen to ten albums per day, indefinitely, but at least for a year. I'm single and I'm studying online, so I can afford to.

Did your family assume that goth was going to be a phase for you? How did people react in your babybat days?