Teen Gothic

I like goth rock and death rock a lot but a lot of it doesn’t hit for me when i’m in a very depressed state. This probably sounds stupid asf but idgaf. I’m just wondering if anyone knows any goth songs with lyrics or atmospheres that evoke a suicidal, depressive vibe.

A lot of the most popular goth songs seem pretty happy or energetic. I want something that sounds like it was written by someone who lost all hope and only lives in total misery. Something that would feel cathartic if I felt suicidal. Kind of like depressive, suicidal black metal but, without the black metal/harsh vocals.

also: I don’t really like The Cure. I know they have some sad songs but they just never hit the right vibe for me. They’re music isn’t dark or brooding enough, idk.

??