Posts Tagged ‘deal’

How do you deal with people taking pictures?

I'm wondering how do you deal with people taking pictures of you without your consent? I was on the train today, listening to Bauhaus as one does, and (I think) a woman took a picture of me, and I'm wondering what I could/should have done. I guess it at least means I looked goth enough?😭 (Tagged it as Help, let me know if it's wrong 🙂 )

submitted by /u/pansexualdrinkscoffe
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Reddit’s Goth Community

What’s the deal with American/Southern Gothic?

This might be a weird post but I just want to get people's insight on this and to get their opinions of American and Southern Gothic.

I live in Southeast Ohio, which is sadly mostly a place full of radically conservative assholes, but the town I go to college in (Athens) is very different and a great beautiful place. I know when people think of Ohio they think of cornfields, but in the Southeast, you are in the foothills of Appalachia. This was a big coal mining area back in the day and there are remnants of these times everywhere. We even have a huge abandoned gothic-style asylum right next to town. This is also a place where ghosts and legends like that are very prominent. There seems to be about at least one story associated with every old mine, farmhouse, train tunnel, cemetery…

I don't know but the area just feels like it was ripped out of a piece of American Gothic literature. There's this strange sort of creepy romanticism that comes with all the decaying buildings and stories of ghosts. However, this is about as far as the gothic themes go. There is a pretty good music scene in town (albeit not a very big one), but there certainly aren't any goth bands around here. There aren't many people in town who dress goth either. Although if I'm being honest, I don't really associate a lot of contemporary gothic music or dress styles with the feeling that Southeast Ohio evokes. Southern Gothic vibes feel more at home here (which makes sense I guess). I know that Southern Gothic typically is used to describe dark country music or murder folk. Those genres are great but also don't appeal to my post-punk attitude as much.

However, there is one other place I have heard Southern Gothic used occasionally and it is to describe post-punk and college rock bands that came out of Athens, GA (not to be confused with the Athens in Ohio where I go to school). Bands like REM, Pylon, The Connells… they have some interesting dark qualities in their earlier music that, while it is a far cry from gothic rock, still scratches that itch for me and I think fits nicely within the idea of American Gothic on a broader sense.

All of what I am laying out here kind of culminated in my own band when we recorded one of our recent singles. I took a lot of inspiration from the area I live in and from those Athens GA bands as well as some Bauhaus and Cure. And we did end up having some people dub it Southern Gothic. If anyone is interested in hearing it so they can see what I mean then just lmk.

I'm trying to compose a little zine that goes more into depth on Southeast Ohio and how I see it tied into American Gothic. I'd love to get all of your thoughts on this, does it make sense, or am I grasping at straws here?

submitted by /u/Life_in_the_Gladhaus
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Reddit’s Goth Community

How do you deal with a complete lack of community or spaces around you?

I'm in a fairly conservative area of a South-Eastern European country and while alternative and goth people are not unknown, there are virtually no spaces for us, no goth clubs of any kind and if any exist they're on an entirely informal basis. On top of that i'm kind of androgynous and i get weird glares for my outfits and long hair anytime i walk out, including whispered comments. I feel severely disconnected as a result.

Watching people here post images of their goth club experiences, being able to dress up and have fun, listen to music and dance is heartbreaking for someone who is in the closet and has no real venue for this. Anyone else in a similar situation?

submitted by /u/Enleat
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Reddit’s Goth Community

how do you deal with these types of situations?

i few days ago i decided to finally dress up "gothic" and even put a bit of makeup on (which i pretty much never do) but i ended up getting laughed at by multiple people, harassed from a car twice and overall made fun of by strangers. i live in a city where so to say "gothic" people are pretty hard to find overall, so people here are obviously not used to that type of subculture.

i was just wondering how do you guys deal with this type of situations?

submitted by /u/sedativepills
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Reddit’s Goth Community

Feeling like the black sheep of the family because I’m goth, how do I deal with it

Really silly to vent about, but it’s just getting to me I guess . I don’t think my parents like me being goth and it’s getting to me. Just overheard them talking about me and what I wear and pretty much how they don’t like it. It just hurts that I can’t be this perfect daughter. I’m just really tired of it, but if I stand up for myself I’m the bad guy and I’m just tired of it. I feel like the black sheep of my family, I feel like I can’t be my authentic self if I’m being completely honest

submitted by /u/Galacticaa
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Reddit’s Goth Community

How does one deal with “cUt My LiFe iN tO PeIcEs” and other such heckling?

I'm a baby bat. Yesterday I went to see the movie Spiderverse 2 (amazing) and like four separate groups of children started at me with "cut my life in to peices" and one even asked me for a "wrist check". I know they're just kids, and people are going to be dicks no matter what I do but how should one respond to this?

submitted by /u/Ken_LuxuryYacht22
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Reddit’s Goth Community

How do you deal with comments such as “It’s just a phase”?

Maybe I'm overreacting, but this gets me really mad. If I think someone is going through a phase whatever it may be, I will not say a word because it's just rude.

I'm a 23 old woman and last saturday was at my older sister's birthday party (she is 35 and everyone there except me and my bf was about the same age) and she and some friends told me "When I/your sister/someone I know… was your age, we too dressed as you, but now we are open to new horizonts and like every musical genre too!!'', I mean, cool I guess?

People don't seem to understand I do not only listen to goth music, I like a lot of other genres too, I simply wear black because it's a colour that makes me feel comfortable. They speak as they were enlightened beings because they are not alt anymore, and this pisses me off.

submitted by /u/Lowprofile_Cake
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Reddit’s Goth Community

How to deal with people asking to pray for/over you?

I’m one of the very few goth people at my college, and live in a very conservative region. people coming up to me in public and asking if they can pray for me or pray over me has become almost a weekly occurrence. it drives me fucking insane. i usually politely decline, but have gotten to a point where i just go along with it because i don’t want to deal with them trying to convince me.
they see a goth person and assume i must be some poor tortured soul corrupted by satan and legions of demons, when in reality i’m just melodramatic, love joy division, and look good in black. any advice on how to deter or respond to christian’s?

submitted by /u/JeSuisRosanna
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Reddit’s Goth Community

Do any other adult goths/alt people have to deal with ageist mindsets?

I(22F) have been BIG TIME into darkly inclined stuff and horror movies and alternative stuff in general ever since I was very very young and I have recently gotten into goth music and im finally dressing the way that I want since I have a job with my own money saved up. Now also keep in mind, I don't have my license yet bc I've been anxious about driving but my moms helping me get used to it. One morning I overheard my dad say some shit along the lines of "Shes obviously mentally 15 with the way she dresses and sets her room up you just gotta wait for her to grow up a little" like somehow my style makes me not a "mental adult". Do any other 20+ alt people have to deal with infantalizing mindsets like this?

submitted by /u/vampyre_luvr
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Reddit’s Goth Community

How do you deal with people making fun of your appearance in public?

[decided to post this on here too]

For starters, I’ve dealt with stares and name-calling for the majority of my life due to the way I dress and present myself. I’ve had photos taken of me with nasty captions and people asking me to show them my wrist, and for the most part I’m use to it, but lately it’s seem to have gotten worse with people yelling it out loud in public for everyone to hear.

I was at the state fair and had a group of guys run up to me in line asking me if I made porn, telling me they liked my costume (“oh wait.. thats just how you look”) and laughing obnoxiously loud while people just looked away. It was really uncomfortable and anytime I ran into them again they’d just KEEP going. That same week me and my friends were harassed and followed in public again, getting called the “wrist cutters” “suicide squad” “hookers” followed by them asking for our socials over and over again.

So for those who also deal with this or have had similar experiences, how do you deal with it? Any advice is much appreciated.

submitted by /u/Nice_Refuse_1971
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Reddit’s Goth Community