Teen Gothic

Last night I went to the biannual goth event in my hometown. It was pretty great, although of course, no it wasn’t just goth music and of course a lot of people there were clearly not actually into the scene, it was really fun to watch so many people enjoying the music and subculture and engaging with something I love so deeply. At the end of the night, a young woman came up to me and told me I was beautiful and she enjoyed watching me dance all night because she never really sees anyone “like her” in our town. I wasn’t quite sure what she meant but she said “I just mean goth, just doing your thing”. I realized that I’ve been into this for 2 decades now and told her as much. Her eyes got real big and said “that’s going to be me some day!” I felt ancient but, it was sweet nonetheless. 🤣

First post here, I’ll try to keep it brief, but I feel there is something that needs to be said. I have been into goth/industrial since the mid nineties, and I wanted to provide some words of encouragement for the people who are new to this whole thing.

I see post after post asking “is this goth?”, “is that goth?”, “am I goth?”, “are you goth?”, “I think I’m goth, but am I goth enough?”, etc, etc, etc….

Music: As far as music goes, the goth genre is very specific. With the exception of Andrew Eldritch, and a few others, bands who are goth know that they’re goth, and make it pretty damn obvious that they’re a goth band. There are some good ones and many that suck, but there really isn’t any debate about whether or not they are goth.

The important thing to note here is that no one, I don’t care how goth they are, listens exclusively to goth bands. I can’t imagine anything more boring and mundane than that.

There are several genres that are not goth, but perfectly playable at a goth night, or goth get-together. Those might include Industrial, Synthpop, Darkwave, post-punk, etc.

Then there are the things you listen to that are not goth, or any of the adjacent genres that you listen to because you like them, and you are an individual who is allowed to like whatever kind of music you want to listen to. That can be anything. Yes, anything.

I am an experience musician in the gothic/industrial genres, and I personally listen to everything from ABBA, to Black Metal… including a very select number of country artists. I also love Gangsta Rap, and 60’s girl-pop.

You like what you like and anyone who disapproves can kick rocks. Seriously.

Are you goth?

Well, you’re here. You might be just now getting into it, or maybe you have been curiously exploring it for a while and thinking you might dive in head first. Maybe you’re royalty in your local scene…. Whatever the case may be, I have some advice. Just like anything else, there is a lifecycle involved in being a goth. Everyone here fits into one of these stages:

1. You like the music and aesthetic, but ultimately don’t care too much about the scene and how people in the scene see you. (Some people are fine staying here and not going any further, or lose interest)

2. You are in love with everything goth and going full bore into it. You are well aware that people who have been around longer are looking and you, dismissively at best, contemptuously at worst, and you are doing everything you can to gain their approval.

3. You made it! You’re the real deal. You know what’s up for sure. Maybe you even have a DJ spot at a local goth night. Now it’s your turn to give the fish eye to the out of place newcomers who pronounce the “x” in “Siouxsie” and wear brand new NIN shirts from Hot Topic. This is the pinnacle. (Some try to stay here forever, but most realize that it really doesn’t age well).

4. You have been through the scene, and still have affection for it, but really you could care less about your standing in the scene. You might hit the club occasionally, or go see a band when they’re in town, and even though you still love the music and the aesthetic, you no longer care enough to put up with the drama. And, you are back to getting the fish eye because you’re old enough to be the baby-bats’ mom or dad.

I know, TLDR… but I’m going somewhere:

The reason I cringe when I see posts asking about things being “goth”is because it is obviously something that you like, but you are concerned about whether or not it’s goth. I get it I’ve been there, but you are you. Don’t make goth your personality. Be you, and incorporate the things you like in the places you want to. If someone says you’re not goth because you have Taylor Swift in your Spotify playlist, tell them to pound sand.

No one worth knowing is ever going to judge you for not being goth enough. Your beauty is in your soul, and if someone can’t see it, you are better off without them.

I’m new here so I want to share a picture and say hi, but I also have a question:

How are we defining elder goths? Is it age? How long someone has been goth? And what is that golden elder goth number?

I'm most interested in thoughts from those whose taste in music, aesthetic, hobbies, social circles, identities, and/or worldviews developed within the 80s-era goth subculture. Music is the most relevant point of focus, as this subreddit emphasizes.

I'll post something similar next week for people who encountered goth music in the 90s and 00s.

• When did you become involved in the subculture? When were you last significantly invested in it? (If you're part of this demographic and you're reading this post, I can assume some level of interest.)

• Related to previous: Where in the world do you live? Where have you lived?

• Were 80s goths as snarky as I've been told that you were?

• Did you seriously dislike people who smoked clove cigarettes? (I had an elder goth friend who could not STAND people who did.)

• What interests you about everything that's changed since the 80s/90s/00s?

• How often do you attend live shows and/or festivals?

• If you're familiar with post-2000 goth music, which newer bands do you recommend?

• Just for fun: Is your home decor gothic?

Point form answers are fine. So are long answers. Whichever you prefer.