Teen Gothic

This is generally subjective but I always feel like Im not doing enough to truly emerse myself into a newly discovered band. I listen to a few albums and love what I hear but then feel as if there is something more that is needed to be considered a fan. Ive taken an effort to research origins and band members past and future projects but eventually I move onto a different band and some of the details fog away with another band taking its place. Real goths who have emersed themselves in the subculture for much longer then I always seems to just have this encyclopedia in the back of their minds and I listen with so much awe, Im frankly jealous of how natural it all sounds. I want that but dont know what Im doing wrong

i have no idea if this is a "me" issue but at my school, people have been just been annoying about me being a goth.

people make stupid comments like "you're goth, your opinion is invalid" like, excuse me? wtf- stop. like what made goths opinions invalid? like i seriously can't wrap my head around that.

they also make the classic "oh, you're a goth, so you're an edgelord" garbage like- will people just stop being ignorant-

I'd like to get into Deathrock but I don't know which albums and EP's to start listening to first. I would also prefer to listen to the music on Youtube too.